STOP BEING IN DENIAL!!!!!!
Mar 12, 2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzhIIxosOeQ

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yes I just closed my vlog and now I'm on
my way out to counseling
let's see uh thank you thank you thank
you everybody for all of your guys's
support you guys are just amazing I just
can't say it enough that you guys have
made such a difference with everything
going on in in my life lately we put a
blinker on way too early so I just want
to thank you and I appreciate every one
of you guys and welcome to all of my new
subscribers I thank you so much for
pushing that subscribe button and
joining our channel I hope that it's
everything that you guys are looking for
and more never feel scared to chime in
and talk amongst each other leave
messages I am trying to catch up on
messages I was I have fallen behind I'm
gonna say on messages but I've also been
trying to read some online
or like on videos so that way I can
address them so anyways I just wanted to
say welcome and it's freezing it is 37
degrees but it is a beautiful day it's
just 37 degrees so anyways I will check
in here with you guys in a little bit
I'm just heading off to kill Sally okay
really quick I just want to show you
guys so we just came back from getting
so espera is like determined to wear
Omar's on doors she does not like her
indoors so we wouldn't head in just
bought packs of under words that they
both chose so we got cars ones there
he's so excited so she she in fact she
does she has buzz like your panties on
right now but those are so cute
and then these ones is that baby Jack
Jack that's Jack Jack Jack Jack
The Incredibles I think they're cold or
something like that yeah but anyways
those and then of course they had to get
paw Patrol because yeah no paw patrols
it but they're all in the boys section
but it's okay I just you know I'm
totally cool with it I don't mind if
those doors or your doors yeah then they
chose PG max our masks masks Legos so
yeah that's our kids is panties undies
and they're all in the brief brief and I
think that's why Ezra likes them because
they're longer in the bottom area so
they don't write up because the ones
that we have bought her the other day
which are these ones there is like the
boy cut short ones they're cool and all
for like adults I mean our preteen or
whatever you know well for little girls
I noticed that they stretch out and then
when she moves around it just exposes
everything so she doesn't feel like
she's having underwear
so anyways let me show you guys really
quick Wellington oh hello good morning
and welcome oh my goodness you guys so
of course my glasses are gonna start
fogging up because I just had a showers
so of course it's like oh that's fog I
need to defrost anyways um okay take
those to Daddy go take those to Daddy
okay you go pee you gonna take your
pants to Daddy and we will be set to go
as my camera gets thrown de anyways well
as you guys can hear yes Omar's
fantastically owning his potty training
yes we are officially 125,000 percent
done with diapers yeah he loves his
underwears we went yesterday as I showed
you and bought the underwears and he is
just
yeah he's own in this business so
yesterday was a really good day just all
in general counseling went fantastic we
discussed a lot of things you know we
discussed a lot of you know I think
because of like the whole trying to
figure out the whole gaining the 10
pounds for the week and you know really
trying to figure out and I trying to
assess where this 10 pounds could have
come from and you know I I can sit in
denial and say to myself you know I did
I ate perfectly I drank all my water I
did what I was supposed to do and I just
gained weight nope take them to Daddy
Please Please you're shaking please take
him to dad you know and I could sit here
and just deny Elysees that I was perfect
all week long but in reality I don't
think I was perfect all week long I
think there was many things that I could
have done to switch things up and to
change things around and not to allow
myself to sit in denial of the things
that I could do to progress myself to
continue to lose weight and so you know
did I said I need a whole chocolate cake
absolutely not no I didn't but I'm sure
that there were things that I ate that
probably could have been eaten in
moderation rather than eating the the
serving that I chose to eat drinking my
water I you know I again I can sit in
denial and say well I drink and I drink
and they drink and yes I did drink and
no I have never picked up a soda is
since July okay go with Daddy please for
a minute
high-five good job okay go with Daddy um
but here I could sit and say you know
that okay you know I could sit into an
aisle and say well I haven't drink soda
since July I've been so good and I have
I have done much much better but have I
drink regular plain water out of my
water machine no I have but not enough
I've been drinking a lot of my vitamin
waters I've been drinking a lot of the
waters that you dropped the flavor into
and those are great but I also need to
be flushing my body with regular water
huh and I just haven't done that as much
as I probably need to you know
physically moving around I haven't I
haven't been I've been more stationary
again and I need to be responsible and
own my situation and say okay you know
what even if it's cold rainy snowy windy
thundering lightning tornadoes nothing
stops me from sitting on a chair and
doing my exercises nothing absolutely
nothing the only thing that comes in
between me and that is me and anything
that I allowed to come in between that
so I could use my business as excuse and
say well you know I've been so busy
getting my Tumblr's up and out yeah I
have been but in the meantime when one's
on the the Turner I can't do anything
else so what am i doing within those
three hours that my cup is on the Turner
I could be doing you know an exercise or
whatever so learning to own and be
responsible
and not sit and debate with myself of
what could of what should of what had of
no I'm gonna own the responsibility that
somewhere my body gained 10 pounds of
whatever it is whether it be fluid air
love fat I mean it could be anything but
the point is is that the the skill said
10 pounds up so I'm gonna own that and
I'm gonna say okay you know what it says
10 pounds up that's what I'm gonna take
I'm gonna own it and I'm gonna do
something about that so starting today
I'm gonna start going back to my sit
down exercises right now my lower back
has really been bothering me like even
yesterday in Walmart I I had a very very
very hard time getting through the store
I mean I did it and I didn't go in a
cart but I was in a lot of pain there at
the very end and all he's like let's
just go because you know obviously I
could see here in a lot of pain and I
was but it's been a while since that's
been happening so why are we doing that
well is it because again my body is
getting out of the motion of moving and
you know strengthening those muscles and
doing the things that I need to do
because I don't want to set myself back
it's starting to become very beautiful
here I mean sure we're gonna have our
days of me last night it was pouring I
mean thank goodness we got to where we
need to go and come back home because it
was it was just pouring yesterday or
last night but today it's a beautiful
day and we're gonna start having more
beautiful weather so there's no reason
that you know we don't put the kids in
the car or I put the kids in the car and
we go for a walk I mean we live in a
beautiful neighborhood we're walking
with your children is safe and so
there's no reason not to get the kids
out and get some fresh air
so that's something that I'm definitely
going to be changing up and doing is
we're gonna get some shoes for the
babies and I'm gonna start walking with
them and you know letting them breathe
the fresh air and pick flowers and
whatever needs to happen
so that I also am getting my exercise in
but they are too because I think it's
only healthy for all of us and not being
combed into this house this year in this
summer because it's just not it's not
fair and I I don't want to be in that
position this year like it's just not
gonna happen
so busy or not my health comes first and
that's what's gonna happen
so that was a really big conversation
with my counselor yesterday is just not
being in denial do not be in denial for
the actions that take place throughout
the week because denial is what's gonna
get me back to square one of being over
five hundred pounds because I will
continue to sit in denial and be like
well no it wasn't no you know that's not
gonna be that that wouldn't cause it no
you know I'm moving I'm moving my arms
as I'm eating but you know in reality
it's owning it not making excuses not
being in denial and set forth the rest
of your your path of what's gonna happen
so anyways that is thought it's so funny
some of you guys were like 17 minutes
that's too short of a video you guys now
come on be fair I know you guys are
playing but um some of you guys are like
those are too long of videos and then
other ones are like no it's too short
I'm trying to meet you all in the middle
okay so you're gonna get a long one
sometimes and sometimes you'll get a
short one depending on what is going on
in that moment today we have a lot to
get covered I've got to get to the store
and do a couple of errands I have a fun
tumblr on the Turner today I cannot wait
to show you guys what it looks like I'm
so excited
I've got packages upon packages upon
packages to get out to the mail today
so we have the post office for sure
I've got Seattle sapphire I've got to
get out I've got life bye Jen I'm
shipping out today and I've got another
shipment of stuffies personalized
Duffy's that I did for customers so I've
got those to go out
today Susy your cup is in the next batch
to be shipped out just so you know so
it's done it's been no it has not been
washed yet that's the next step
so I'm washing it today and then your
about your cup will be out in the next
batch and so yeah I am so so so excited
to get these out today so everybody gets
the packages um what else I think that
was it I just have some errands that I
got to run and get done so let's get to
our book I showed my counselor my book
yesterday and she wrote the the title
down and I think she's gonna take a look
at it because she absolutely loved it
she said you know this is a great a
great book like it really is I'm like I
know I love it and so does everybody
else and then she's gonna help me find
another book for us because it's just
you know I love doing this with you guys
I think that it's amazing it's a great
start to a fresh day to get your reading
in and to really be able to take those
affirmations and the positiveness and
put it into your day that you're dealing
with for right then and there so I love
it um okay so let's see okay so we are
on February 9th okay when you are
walking in alignment with God's purpose
for your life you don't have to mimic
anyone else beg for a hookup or convince
people to like accept or follow you your
gift will always make room for you Oh
honestly that just hit me really hard
um let's read that one one more time
when you are walking in alignment with
God's purpose for your life you don't
have to mimic anyone else beg for a
hookup or convince people to like accept
or follow you your gift will always make
room for you wow you know when you when
you think about this reading
and when you're walking in alignment
with God's purpose for your life and you
don't have to take it as aim you know
like I mean this this book is kind of a
little bit to do with you know it will
bring up God once in a while
you only think it brings it up too often
but I mean when you're walking in the
alignment of the purpose of your life
whether it be from you know God or
whatever you know you you choose to
believe with but when you're walking in
alignment with what the purpose of your
life is you do not have to mimic so you
don't have to be somebody else and what
have we been talking about on this
channel lately about have it in or be
the same as or being compared to you do
not have to mimic anyone else beg for a
hookup or convince people to like accept
and follow you and that's so true you
shouldn't have to beg someone to want to
be your friend you shouldn't have to beg
someone to want to be a part of your
life
you shouldn't have to beg for hookups
just to be a part of or to fit in and
shouldn't have to beg for someone to
accept you for who you are you know just
like with me you know I wear the hijab
and I don't have other friends that are
that are Muslims and when I hang out
with somebody I continue to wear what I
wear I don't take it off just so
somebody will accept me and go out into
public with me if somebody is ashamed of
Who I am or doesn't want to be seen with
me because of what I choose to wear or
what I look like or whatever then really
that person just doesn't have room for
me they really don't in their life and I
don't have room for people like that I
want to be accepted just the way that I
am and I shouldn't have to change or
pretend to be somebody I'm not
just to fit in with the massive majority
of people that I'm around your gift will
always make room for you so you know
whatever your gift is that you've been
given
it will always have room for you you
shouldn't have to change yourself just
for your gift to fit in either so that
that reading makes so much sense and it
really Co sides with everything we've
been talking about because it's so true
like everything that we just read today
has been everything that we've been
talking about this whole week because in
reality I've seen I thought it was
raining know if it is it better not god
I've got things to do today and I don't
have time for rain to be on the agenda
um but we don't have time to spend our
life trying to fit in with others rather
than be your own person I am so proud of
the person I am I am so proud to be a me
the 434 pound woman that I am I am proud
to be her because I know that I'm making
that 430 film 4 pound woman healthy
mentally emotionally physically verbally
in all aspects so I'm proud to be Who I
am and I'm proud to have my channel that
I it's a gift for me to everybody that
I'm able to share my journey and my
story with you guys so that you guys can
see oh my god you know I'm not alone
this is not a journey that I have to
face alone you know here's Amy she's
doing it too so I can lean on Amy when I
know that I'm late
you know that I'm weak and I know I can
lean on you know the channels I watch
and the stories and and the friends that
I have gained from my channel I've
leaned on many of you guys many every
day I lean on you guys because I'm able
to share with you my struggles my
challenges my achievements my my goals
my my everything I I lean on you guys
every day and I want you guys to lean on
me I want you to lean on my channel and
let my channel guide you through the
journey that you guys are all on because
that's the gift that I
that I'm able to give to others and
that's where I know that my gift fits
myself and fits me and fits you guys and
that's why I embrace my channel as being
such a positive channel with no
negativity and no drama because I don't
want drama and negativity to take away
from the positiveness that this channel
has promoted and as bringing to
everybody and so you know that's why
I've made it clear before like when
people come on and they want to be
negative and you know they want to bring
the drama and stir it up it's like no no
no no no no no no Amy's life journey
Channel we don't we don't deal with that
like it just doesn't happen we don't we
don't even shine light on to it because
it's just not something that I even want
to deal with because it will take away
from what we're trying to do and that's
promoting people to join our channel so
that they know that there is a positive
channel out there and that every day
they wake up they get an affirmation of
positiveness that they can put in with
in their life and within their story and
take it for the day so that's that
reading that we take every single day
plug that into everyday life and you
will see a difference I do it every day
every day I think about my reading that
I have read to you guys because I can
plug it in and I could take it for the
next day and for the next day and the
next day and the next day because every
day there's a challenge there's never
gonna be a day that you don't face a
challenge you will face challenges but
life can be so much easier if you take
your positive and plug it into where the
negative would be and switch that
positive on and as negative as it tries
to fight back you will see the positive
come out more stronger than the negative
would ever be able to so anywho I am
going to close you guys because I want
to take off before whatever is brewing
up in the sky starts because I don't
have time for that today but I will
check in with you guys here in a little
bit and take you guys along for our
journey today so that you guys get out
for a little bit we'll switch it up a
little bit and yeah so anyways
I hope you guys have a wonderful
wonderful day today
I love kind of checking in with you guys
on the day and that's just to kind of
give you guys that that sense of hey you
know what I see you you see me and I'm
on Tuesday and so as you're seeing me
I'm seeing you guys on the exact same
day and that is it's great so anyways
and don't again think that I am NOT
reading comments and I'm not planning to
message everybody back I am I promise I
promise I promise I'm gonna cut some
time out today and do that so definitely
be looking forward to responding
messages from your guys's messages that
you've posted and I will keep you guys
updated on the tumblr that is over there
on the Turner because I so sided so
anyways thank you so much you guys for
joining in today and I will check in
with you guys here in a little bit bye
bye
